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From The 13th Chair Trombone Player

Humorous and inspiring author DJ Corchin offers his unique observations about life in the world of marching bands.

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Home > From The 13th Chair Trombone Player > Seen and Heard at BOA 2010

From The 13th Chair Trombone Player:
Seen and Heard at BOA 2010

It wouldn't be band without the funny. And it wouldn't be funny without The 13th Chair Trombone Player. Columnist DJ Corchin brings you the top 20 most hilarious things seen or overheard at the 2010 Bands of America Grand National Championships.

By DJ Corchin
Posted November 14, 2010

Hi everyone! I had a great time at Grand Nationals this year. The best part was just observing and listening in on conversations. You know ... spying :) Here are some hilarious quotes and sights I got to experience while at the competition, in random order. If you don't like them, well ... you gotta make yourself laugh, ya know?
  1. "Want some pretzels and popcorn? They're healthier than french fries."
  2. Observed a tree giving birth to a teenager on the 50 yard line. I have to say I didn't see that one coming. Honestly.
  3. Sat by a mom praying the entire 11 minute show ... but with her eyes closed.
  4. Saw Satan along side drummers with devil masks ... or maybe that was them with their masks off? Mooohhhaaaaaa!
  5. From The 13th Chair Trombone Player "That band was really good. Pass the pulled pork."
  6. Dude 1: "Where's the bathroom?" Dude 2: "Wait 'til after this band. Then I'll really have to go too."
  7. A sax quartet featured in marching band playing concert music. What? Need I say more.
  8. A huge roaring applause for a hanging cowbell solo. I couldn't help but join in. I mean come on, it's cowbell.
  9. A cello. At first I thought it was just cool ... then realized it was also funny.
  10. I saw "death" at least three times. Good to know he's doing well.
  11. An entire band with full warm-up jump suits. I thought they we going to randomly break into human pyramids in the lobby and do high kicks. Sadly ... they didn't.
  12. I saw Klingon weapons being tossed by mighty colorguard warriors.
  13. Healthcare advertisements on the tables. Just in case, I guess.
  14. The best bird-themed show ever! You can't go wrong with giant peacocks!
  15. An entire colorguard with "fro-hawks."
  16. Nine 'bones on the front sideline standing on a 7-foot wall. That's how every show should end.
  17. Mrs. America at a marching band competition. I really wanted a picture with her but chickened out. Man-fail.
  18. A girl floating in a bed. Must have been the pulled pork.
  19. Fifty parents screaming "Spirit!" while waving gold and silver folding fans. I was both excited AND cool.
  20. An entire marching band with giant menorahs on their chests. It's like they're Super Rabbis! Sweet. ;)

About the Author: DJ Corchin is author of the celebrated humorously inspiring book, Band Nerds Poetry From The 13th Chair Trombone Player ( He was a featured performer in the first national Broadway tour of the Tony and Emmy award winning show, BLAST! where he was best known as the "unicycling trombonist." His new children's book, You Got A Boogie (, was recently published to rave reviews. A pop recording artist out of Chicago and former high school band director, he continues to be involved in marching bands and music education through speaking events, competitions, and organizations such as Music for All. He will be publishing another book and releasing a new album in 2010. Mr. Corchin welcomes your comments via email. Mr. Corchin is an independent contributor so his views and opinions do not necessarily represent those of

Text by DJ Corchin. Trombone illustration by Dan Dougherty.

Copyright 2010 All rights reserved. This material may not be published or redistributed without permission.

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